Polish Version Now Available / Wersja Polska Już Dostępna

The Polish version of the flag is now available. Visit the menu on the left-hand side. Enjoy!

Polskie wersje flagi są już dostępne . Odwiedź menu po lewej stronie. Pobierz, wydrukuj, wytnij, sklej, i zaznacz kupy!


Downloadable Flag Template (original version)

While you cannot be The Whimsical Curmudgeon, you can be a whimsical curmudgeon. Download the flag template, and join the neighborhood poo-trol, because #ittakesavillage.

COMPONENTS: For purposes of ecological responsibility, I recommend that you use recycled paper (8.5 x 11in), non-toxic soy-based printer ink, non-toxic hobby glue, and bamboo skewers (or a stick you found on the ground, if you want to take it an eco-step further), for your flag assembly needs. These flags disintegrate quite quickly, especially after a rainfall.

PRINTING: These flags are double-sided. The template has been designed with the basic home printer in mind, and therefore require you to flip the sheet over (the long way), and print again on the back side. The triangles have been calibrated to line up.

ASSEMBLY: There’s more than one way to skin a cat, but in my experience, some methods are better than others. After you have printed your flags (double-sided), cut along the dotted lines. Prepare your sticks (recommended length of 4.5 – 5.5 inches). Roll the base end of the flag along a table or counter edge to prep it. Spread a thin layer of glue on the base edge of flag. Place the stick on the edge, and very carefully, start rolling it along with the paper (keeping it as tight as possible). Once rolled, place under a heavy, flat object to set it place. Once dried, it is ready for use!

DOCUMENTATION: I encourage you to document your flag-planting and submit your photos to The Whimsical Curmudgeon via the link found on the gallery page. Please label your photos by location of use.

GET STARTED, DOWNLOAD HERE:Flag_template_original Stay tuned for more linguistically diverse versions!

internet famous

Someone spotted my flag today and wrote about it (thanks, Bart Shore), and a friend shared the Every Block link with me! Check out the  Every Block post.

While most comments are positive, one dude called me an asshole. You can’t win them all, I guess. Nevertheless, I have heard your cries, dear sidewalk citizens! Don’t fret. Downloadable flag templates coming soon!


Since launching my little offensive over a year ago (granted, there was a bit of a hiatus), the standard flag has been updated to read “it takes two a**holes”. This was done for a couple reasons:  it utilizes fewer letters and fits better on the flag, and because it conjured up delightful earworms. For me, it’s Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston’s lovely duet. For others it could be the funky ditty by Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock. Either way, enjoy.

sampler morningflag

Planting the Inaugural Flag

Well, that didn’t take very long at all.
After meeting friends and sharing the flags with them, we encountered our first poo. Granted, I was hoping for a more noble-looking, soft-serve shaped product, but had to make do with this nugget.

I have to admit, I’ve never been so excited to see dog shit on the sidewalk.

inaugural flagWhy am I doing this?

My hope is three-fold:

1) First and foremost, that the sight of these bright flags sitting atop a turd warns the unsuspecting pedestrian of the dangers that lie ahead.

2) That instead of becoming irate at the sight of yet another shit, the cheeky text makes the passerby chuckle and smile.

3) While I seriously doubt this will change offenders’ behavior, a little part of me hopes that people who see these little flags rethink not cleaning up after their pets in the future.

Stockpiling My Weapons of Choice

This is the project that served as the inspiration to start this blog. While walking home one day, I passed an obscene amount of dog shit. First, I became angry at people’s lack of civic-mindedness and general irresponsibility. Then, I chuckled to myself as I fantasized about how I could play on it, imagining myself skipping along and planting little flags in all the publicly-abandoned feces I encountered throughout the week. The image actually made me giggle. Even better, it would allow me maintain my own sense moral superiority while engaging in humorous social commentary. Won’t you join me? SAMSUNG